Annoying Cat

My family have this cat which I don't really like. Well first I used to like it because before I used to read books where the main protagonist always has cats. Then I thought, I'd like to have a cat.

And voila!

Now I'm annoyed. This cat always asks for food, so I will feed him, he'll eat but only few bits then he'll ask me again. This process keeps repeating forever, so I'll kick him and he won't ask me. *evil smirks*

Love story on video

This is a true story of a girl who wrote to me so I can make a video of her sad love story.

Must Watch

If you haven't watched this, then you're in for a treat. I wasn't just laughing while watching this, I enjoyed every moments and clips of it.

Some funny jokes

1. DEATH of MR.BEAN’S MOTHER
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)
Friend: what now, Mr. Bean?Mr. Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.

2. I once approached a little girl and asked her, “What do you know about love?” the little girl replied, “Love is when a boy takes you to the park, buys you an ice cream, tells you that you’re the prettiest girl in the whole park and when he sees the ice cream melting thru your fingers, he would gently lick it, look in your eyes, kiss you, put his tongue in, moves his hands towards your breast, kisses your neck while his hands moves all the way down.”

- hahaha. Ang wild na talaga ng mga kids today.

3. When the heart starts beating, there’s really nothing you can do but to heed its call. When the heart starts beating, you are so dead. For sure, you’ll get caught. Sharam daram, dararam!
- Kapag Tumibok ang Puso, English Version.


4. Japanese archeologist digging 100m down found a copper wire says: "Very good! Our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephones."
Americans dug 200m and found optical cable says: "My God! This means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 years ago!"
Pinoy digs 500m but found nothing says: "Ang lupit ng ninuno naten... Wireless!"

5. In Europe, where PIETA created by michaelangelo is displayed...
Italian: Magnifico!
English: Brilliant!
Americans: Wow! Amazing!!!
Filipinos: Picture! Picture! Dali! Pang Facebook!

6. Teacher: Now give me the opposite of this sentence, “Children in the dark make mistakes.”
Juan: Mistakes in the dark make children.

 7. Did you know that the heart has no pain receptor? So the next time that someone breaks you heart, move on. Your pain is just an illusion, a temporary psychological disturbance that you have to overcome. In short it’s all in the mind. In Filipino, inarte lang yan. 

8. Never try to impress someone to make him/her fall in love with you because when you do, you will keep that standard for the rest of your life. Just be yourself. Kung ayaw sa’yo, lasingin mo.

Scenes at the park

Warning: This post may contain some message that may be rude to some Audiences

Eksena sa Park..

Eto ay isang totoong pangyayari ng ako at ang mga kaibigang kong Chinese ay naglalaro ng basketball sa isang park sa New Zealand.

Hindi ko na ipapaligoy ligoy pa ang usapan, deretsahan na. Ganito kasi yon, naglalaro na kami, maya maya ay nakapansin ang isa kong kaklase ng isang mainit na sitwasyon na nagpunta sa nagbabaga at kahindik hindik na pangyayari. naglalaro kami ng biglang

"Hey, look at the people over there, they're kissing" sabi ng isang chinese kong kaklase na ang pangalan ay Ronald(english name nya).

"OoOohH..they're kissing hard out oi" sabi ko naman. 4 kami lahat, ako lang filipino. Medyo nadistract na kami at di na maxado makapaglaro ng maayos.

"Man, why are they doing it on the park?" sabi naman nung isa kong classmate na half chinese half cambodian na si Solomon.

"That guy is lucky eh?" sabi ng isa, Yuwen pangalan. Mga 50feet+ lang ang layo nila samin. Medyo painit ng painit na nga yung ginagawa nila eh. Tas hindi rin kami nagpapahalata na lagi kaming tumitingin, hindi mapigilan eh. Pero ako iba ako eh

"Stop looking man, concentrate in the game!" sabi ko sa kanila kaso tingin pa rin.

Ronald: "I am concentrating" sa iba naman nakaconcentrate, pagkatapos nun lalo uminit.
Yuwen: "Look! the guy is trying to make a hole in his pants" mejo di ko naintindihan nung una pero nagets ko rin.
Solomon: "Oh sh*t! he's masterb****g" pagkatingin ko....tsk tsk tsk..alam ko na punta nito, isip isip ko. Kaso nasa park kami eh, uu mga igan nasa park kami kaya naisip ko imposible na gawin nila yun(alam nyu na yun kung anu gusto sabihin).
ME: "Are we still playing or not?" kaso mukang nalilibugan na si Ronald.
Ronald: "I can't take it anymore, im getting..getting..i dont know how to say it in english"horny yung gustong sabihin di nya lang alam. tas nun kinuha yung bola pumunta sa kabilang ring mas malapit kasi yung view. pag tingin ko dun ko na nakita ang kahindik hindik na pangyayari, uu mga igan ginawa nila ang karumal rumal na krimen na ngayon ko lang nakita, live action kung tawagin. Parehas silang nakaupo pero yung babae nasa taas tas bumabayo, pero nakasuot parin ang mga damit nila hindi nila tinanggal.
Me: "F**k! Man they're doing it now, look at them" di ako nakapagtimpi na magsalita, pero natatawa ako na ako nun.
Yuwen: "We already know that" kanina pa pala yun, medyo ang tagal ko rin kasi di tumingin kasi nandidiri na ako.
Solomon: "Tell them to get a room"
Ronald: "I cant take it.. I want to get it out" nagwala na, binabato na yung bola sa rin
Me: "Easy man, dont blame the ball. You wanna take it out? Go ask them if you can join maybe they still have some room" tawanan kami. Tapos usap usap lang kami di na kami naglalaro pero hawak pa rin namin yung bola minsan sumisilip sa nagaganap na live action tas yung mga kaklase ko naman minsan nag uusap ng intsik. Di nagtagal natapos sila mukang nanghihina yung lalaki pero yung babae masigla.

Solomon: "Lets throw the ball to them and then get it" joke lang nya yun sa kanya yung bola eh nagbibiro lang pero binalak ko syang lokohin
Me: "Go throw it man, then i'll get the ball for you" sabi ko pero ala talaga ako balak kuhain, tas kala ko pumayag biglang nagduda hindi na tinuloy. Pagkatapos nun umalis na kami, hindi matigil ang asaran namin sabi ni Ronald swerte daw nung lalaki tas sabi ni Solomon bakit daw dun nila ginawa yun siguro wala silang kwarto. Sa tingin ko eh nag init talaga sila kaya naisipan nilang ituloy ang karumal rumal na pangyayaring iyon, hayy buhay nga naman, pero yung dalawang yun ay hindi asian at hindi rin puti mga "islander" ang tawag sa kanila dito.

Ganun ang nangyari samin habang naglalaro sa park, simula nun di na kami madalas maglaro dun, pero sa twing maglalaro kami ay di pa rin namin mapigilang sumilip sa spot kung saan nangyari ang krimen. Kinabukasan pagkatpos rin ng araw na yun ay absent si Ronald sa klase hindi na namin tinanong kung bakit.

A story of love

THIS IS A VERY SHOCKING STORY...

This is a story from University of the Philippines (Diliman) about a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Tiffany. She was hit by a dumper truck. She had a boyfriend named Noel. Both of them were true lovers. They always hung on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone. In fact she also changed her network coverage from Smart to Globe, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost and get good network coverage. She spent half o f the day talking with Noel. Tiffany's family knew about their relationship. Noel was very close with Tiffany's family. (Just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please bury me with my hand phone' she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said 'THIS GIRL MISSES SOMETHING HERE '. Then her friends told the Master about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the

coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. Tiffany's parents did not inform Noel that Tiffany had passed away.

After 2 weeks Noel called Tiffany's mom and said, 'I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Tiffany that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.' Her mother replied... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important.' After he came, they told him the truth about Tiffany. Noel thought that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool me - tell Tiffany to come out, I have a gift for her. Please stop this nonsense'. Then they showed him her grave. Noel said, 'It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Noel was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang. 'See this is from Tiffany, see this...' he showed the phone to Tiffany's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Tiffany & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Feng Shui Master's help again. The Master brought his co-masters to solve this matter. He & his co-masters worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

GLOBE HAS THE BEST COVERAGE. WHEREVER YOU GO, THEIR NETWORK FOLLOWS. ANG LAKAS TALAGA NG GLOBE... KAHIT NASAAN KA MAN. KAYA GLOBE NA KAYO NANG KAYO AY NAKAKASIGURADONG MALAYO ANG MARARATING NINYO. ANG LAKAS MO SA GLOBE!!

SA GLOBE ABOT MO ANG MUNDO