Some funny jokes

1. DEATH of MR.BEAN’S MOTHER
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor just called up, my mom’s dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
(After 2 minutes, Mr. Bean cries even louder.)
Friend: what now, Mr. Bean?Mr. Bean: my sister just called. Her mom died too.

2. I once approached a little girl and asked her, “What do you know about love?” the little girl replied, “Love is when a boy takes you to the park, buys you an ice cream, tells you that you’re the prettiest girl in the whole park and when he sees the ice cream melting thru your fingers, he would gently lick it, look in your eyes, kiss you, put his tongue in, moves his hands towards your breast, kisses your neck while his hands moves all the way down.”

- hahaha. Ang wild na talaga ng mga kids today.

3. When the heart starts beating, there’s really nothing you can do but to heed its call. When the heart starts beating, you are so dead. For sure, you’ll get caught. Sharam daram, dararam!
- Kapag Tumibok ang Puso, English Version.


4. Japanese archeologist digging 100m down found a copper wire says: "Very good! Our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephones."
Americans dug 200m and found optical cable says: "My God! This means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 years ago!"
Pinoy digs 500m but found nothing says: "Ang lupit ng ninuno naten... Wireless!"

5. In Europe, where PIETA created by michaelangelo is displayed...
Italian: Magnifico!
English: Brilliant!
Americans: Wow! Amazing!!!
Filipinos: Picture! Picture! Dali! Pang Facebook!

6. Teacher: Now give me the opposite of this sentence, “Children in the dark make mistakes.”
Juan: Mistakes in the dark make children.

 7. Did you know that the heart has no pain receptor? So the next time that someone breaks you heart, move on. Your pain is just an illusion, a temporary psychological disturbance that you have to overcome. In short it’s all in the mind. In Filipino, inarte lang yan. 

8. Never try to impress someone to make him/her fall in love with you because when you do, you will keep that standard for the rest of your life. Just be yourself. Kung ayaw sa’yo, lasingin mo.